Tuesday, June 24, 2008

houston, we have penis.

today was my 21 week ultrasound and yes, as i had initially guessed, el dos es verdad un hombre.

i realize some of you find ultrasounds just so dreadfully banal, but for the rest of you, please enjoy some of our finer shots of today's photoshoot. you can click to enlarge and view them in all their spendor.

on a different note, the tech said pictures turn out best when the mother isn't so big. my 200+/week minutes on the elliptical machine are paying off, and it doesn't seem as though junior juice is worse for wear: he's already over a pound [that's 65%ile]!

greetings from the cryptkeeper.

kisses to all my peeps. mmmwah! mmmmwah!

there it is: tha moneyshot.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

where have i been?

well, i've discovered facebook. as any facebooker can attest, it can sure suck up your time on these here internets.

since becoming a member, i've connected with plenty of current acquaintences, but also some old friends from as far back as elementary school. i'm not ashamed to say i've done some lurking as well.

my findings? most everyone is fat and old-looking, which can only reaffirm my suspicions that i, too, am fat and old-looking. many old boyfriends aren't married -- how many gay men did i date? the big bellies, bald heads, and grey beards are positively shocking to me. are we that old? a lot of girls i knew in high school list themselves with their maiden and married names yet post only pictures of their children where their profile shot should be. seems like a strange dichotomy to me; clearly, they list a maiden name so they can be found, yet don't show you their face. without going so far as to upload their senior picture, do they only want to be remembered for the way they looked when that was their name?

some folks look untouched by time or gravity. lucky dogs. i've seen one or two that are just downright hot and i think, didn't we used to play together in middle school? why the hell didn't i make out with you in high school again? and then you remember the slight, brooding boy in the smoky concert t-shirt, leaning against the auditorium wall. you remember your broccoli bangs and your cheesy, handmade navy polyester circle-skirt and nude tights you wore on game fridays and realize you probably weren't much of a catch either.

facebook is strange, awkward yet freeing at the same time. how do you determine whom you friend-request? what's your threshhold for adding someone?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

no, i didn't ghost-write the article

i receive the daily babble, a daily newsletter from a modern parenting website called babble. though i do receive the valuable [albeit sometimes bland, dumbed-down, extremely conservative, and alarmist] newsletters from babycenter, i cherish the daily babble for its progressive, whipsmart humor. it's like perez hilton for parents.

today, daily babble served up a link that made me laugh out loud multiple times, entitled:

granny manual: 8 things grandma needs to know about babies

in grandma's defense, things really do change constantly. i am noticing more and more dos and don'ts this second time around. now, i've gotta gobble down two giant, nasty omega 3-6-9 capsules twice a day. they take even more blood for the first trimester screens than last time [oh joy!] and crib bumpers are the devil.