Wednesday, October 27, 2004

harbinger of... four more years?!

nothing more dope that drinking a beer on an october evening, watching the lunar eclipse, and jamming out to a little milk and cereal on continuous loop.
i hope the construction wraps up soon -- the cats are kicking the shit out of each other for want of some personal space.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

the secret is they have XY chromosomes

come on, now. you really think i exist in nature?

i... am.. so... hungry.

has anyone gotten the new victoria's secret christmas catalog? i just don't get it. the women pictured in the entire lingerie section [especially the first few pages] don't even look like women. well, except for the extremely enhanced breasts that just look stupid on such a freakishly secondary sex characteristic-free body. it just makes me angry. i mean, with the exception of tyra banks [and even she's airbrushed all over the place] the women look miserably thin. poor 34 year old naomi campbell [still in fantastic shape, the old bird] has been relegated to modeling drapey gowns. wtf! if it weren't for the fact that i purchase my cotton triangle training bras from vs, i'd cancel my subscription. even casey laughed when he saw the photos.

p.s. don't forget to order your pearl strand thong. nothing like a plastic necklace embedded in your biscuit! mmmm...

Monday, October 25, 2004

eXtReMe MaKeOver, eat your heart out.

so we're ripping up the second floor of our house, right? it's a big dirty mess of cigarette butts, plaster, insulation, and plywood which is slowly but surely transforming into a discernable floor pattern. there are now square holes that leave a dangerous chute from the second floor to the basement. oh, and don't forget the nails everywhere! i am trying to post pictures, but i can't figure out the software so suffice to say it's a dirty mess, but i can't wait to show you a before and after.

well, at 4am, the ceiling starts pissing into the kitchen, right outside our guestroom [presently our bedroom and, lucky me, my office, too!]. kEwL! it's just pouring this nasty brown broth right where the wall and the ceiling meet and all over the floor. the hvac guys are putting actual forced air upstairs, so they disconnected and drained the radiators, but never capped them, so some kind of mystery-soup was issuing forth from the bowels of the ancient boiler. rAdiKaL, dUdE!

to add insult to injury, jackson [the fat man] is walking around the kitchen with one of his favorite stuffed catnip toys in his mouth and loudly crying this muffled cry at the same time in an alarm-like fashion. aWsUm! so i'm feigning sleep, but his panicking at the fountain of rust sounds vaguely reminiscent of the cartoons with the fat lady in the burning building, screaming, "my baby! save my baby!"

having disjointed sleep patterns is so mAjoR!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

oops! i did it again...

not a girl, not yet out of the evil clutches of puberty

hope you enjoyed "love your body day." i baked raisin branana muffins [not a typo], and ate a crisp green granny smith dipped in whole foods caramel dipping sauce to celebrate.

on the topic of loving your body, not sure if i should, but i have to say i feel a twinge of pity for britney spears. go to google and type "britney no makeup" and see all the sites devoted to photos of her looking like us or even worse at times. check out this one for the meanest comparison shots. the close-up photos showing glaring acne are the ones that make me the saddest. having bad skin really sucks and can happen to anyone. what's the big deal?!

hate to say it because she makes my nerves raw with annoyance, but you know who looks damned good? star jones. she is really looking good. i gotta hand it to her... reluctantly.

no one looks better than oprah now. she looks amazing.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

back in the loop

[yawn] time to catch up on non-returning customer reports!

man alive! i had jury duty last week from tuesday to thursday and my house has been annihilated, so i'm trying to figure out which end is up. i have so many tedious end-of-the-year tasks to get a move on! all i can conjure up is a smattering of observations:

1) i have no faith in the jury system. people just come to a verdict because they want to get home and smoke a j. it's wrong.

2) wanna feel like a freak of nature? go try clothes on at urban outfitters. what did i learn? my size 2-4 frame has a size 9-11 ass. apparently, i'm a misshapen centaur.

3) h&m is good. i don't care if people poo-poo the brand and say they're the ikea of clothing. it's cute, cheap, and doesn't discriminate against centaurs. i'm for it!

4) old men who work in bathroom fixtures stores will only address your husband. even after repeated attempts to show them that you too are a cognizent adult and not a drooling dependant by answering his questions, you will not be acknowledged. it's maddening. i'm invisible and a centaur, i guess.

5) the fact that you can't show a nice little boob or say a naughty word on tv but you can show someone gagging and projectile-vomiting after drinking 25 two-ounce shots of blended maggots, stink beetles, superworms and rotten fisheyes means there is something wrong with america.

Monday, October 11, 2004

we're finally doing it

i gotta lay off the self-tanner, huh?

ugh. we've moved everything from the second floor to the first floor to get ready for the second floor renovation. it looks like a rummage sale up in here: milk crates of brochures and giveaways everywhere, litterboxes in every corner, and my office... in the room where we sleep. whee! yea for work permeating every facet of my life!

i wonder then if it's a blessing or a curse that i have jury duty tomorrow. [sigh]

Friday, October 08, 2004

drunk girl = republican?

to get you in the halloween spirit

i really don't talk about politics on my own blog -- i usually just comment on political posts -- but i have to say... wow... i'm definitely a little surprised at the college girls with the anti-kerry, extreme right-wing comments on their aol im profiles. i have a rather lengthy list of my instructors, former instructors, and coaches on my buddylist, and from time to time, i'll peruse their profiles. i'm honestly suprised.

when i think of the people most likely to vote democrat, i think young females: they're dodging pregnancy and are, probably more than those out of college, surrounded by great diversity, not only of ethnicity, but of sexual preference. they like lots of emo music, sung by sensitive dudes wearing "feminist" t-shirts.

or maybe, when you're in college, you still espouse your parents' views. after all, they're footing the bill at party u, right? at least they have an opinion, right? i was like, "omigod, wha-eet?" when bushie-daddy was elected -- i was too busy worrying about finding a decent hairstylist in iowa city to fix my roots!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

my full moon ≠ the half moon

to dream... the impossible dream...

i did my yoga dvd today. i can't do the half-moon pose. it's almost comical: i try to prop myself up and fall over, wobbling and cussing. i read that it strengthens the abdomen, ankles, thighs, and buttocks, and it also improves digestion. no wonder i suck at this one. aint yoga brilliant?

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

springtime is so far away

this is my life for the next six months

tired. special event choreography session was this weekend and now, i'm just tired. my joints hurt, especially my knees and hips.

i'm a little scared and depressed at how full my schedule has gotten -- once again, winter time will mean every weekend on the road until mid-march. i'm a more than a little disheartened. in a desperate attempt to cram in more freelance earnings, i actually almost scheduled a choreo session on the same weekend as casey's birthday. i blinked a few times, cleared the sleep from my eyes, and declared that i have no more open saturdays available to that endeavor this year.

fortunately, i should be around some really fun people while i'm galavanting around the country.