Friday, December 02, 2005

thanks for the meme-ories

i haven't been feeling particularly posty of late. mostly, i've just been panicking about a few upcoming projects. i thought i'd borrow a meme from my friend jamie. enjoy and feel free to use as well. here goes:

smoked a cigarette or tried it - yes.

crashed a friend's car - i only know one person that actually lends me her car when i come in to teach her dance team choreography each summer, and i am in a cold sweat driving from my hotel to the high school twenty minutes away. my secret's out: this is where all the mushrooms growing on the seat are coming from!

been dumped - yep, however, given what i've been told is an astronomical number of paramours, the ratio of dumped:dumper is about 1:15.

shoplifted - yes, there were some junior high antics involving wet'n'wild makeup and whatnot at the corner jewel-osco in northbrook. recently, i accidentally walked out of the target with a pair of slippers hanging from my purse that i wanted and didn't pay for. i was frozen in my tracks in the parking lot, unsure of what to do, but the devil on my left [seated in front of the steering wheel of his ford explorer sport] hissed, "forget it! don't worry about it! just keep going!"

been fired/laid off - no. [knocking furiously on wood]

been arrested - no. i am a very good girl.

gone on a blind date - yes, i met three people on the internet whom i met in person. one really wasn't a date. he was some kid in england that i had chatted on telnet with in my loneliest last semester at iowa. despite my lack of success, i tell all my single buddies out there to just try it anyway! a girl's gotta eat, right?

lied to a friend - well, obscured truth is probably more accurate. i am a terrible liar, as most sagittarii are. honesty is the best policy.

skipped school - uh, yup, but not until college.

seen someone die - my cat, oliver, suffocated in my arms on my 29th birthday. he was in the final stages of feline leukemia and he struggled too much while i was trying to feed him and just asphixiated himself. it was a horrible moment that still makes me cry just thinking about it.

been to canada - once, on a hess bros. ski extravaganza at mont tremblant. i loved it!

been to mexico - hellz, yeah.

eaten sushi - only veggie maki. i made it, too [pats self on back] but casey is the master at rolling the maki tightly.

met someone in person from the internet - yeah. see above.

taken pain-killer - hoo-yeah. i had my wisdom teeth pulled out over winter break my freshman year at iowa. i enjoyed a little vicodin, napped a bit, ate my spaghetti dinner, then drank many beers at an impromptu high school reunion in the monckton's basement. that was the closest to drug-addled depravity i've ever come.

had a tea party - um... wha-it?

cheated while playing a game - not to my recollection.

fallen asleep at work - yep, but surprisingly, not here at home where i work every day. i have fallen asleep in cozy cubicles while waiting for something to do as a temp. hey, no harm, no foul!

used a fake ID - yeah, i had gotten one from some bad seeds at bradley university who were friends with my boyfriend at the time. it was a real ID [one of those unlaminated missouri ones] that we just changed the numbers on with a pencil. stupid.

felt an earthquake - no.

touched a snake - yes. i used to live with several large reptiles, including a copperhead snake.

been robbed - yes, i was mugged at something-point the day before my 28th birthday in bucktown.

petted a reindeer/goat - yes. i love goats.

won a contest - none i can recall.

been suspended from school - no. i was alexis p. keaton.

been in a car accident - yes, but i wasn't driving. the driver fell asleep at the wheel driving from memphis to chicago and careened into a reflector stick on the side of the road.

had braces - nope, but i used to pretend by putting stretched out paperclips in my mouth.

eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - maybe once.

witnessed a crime - yes.

swam in the ocean - yes! i love to swim in the waves.

sung karaoke - nope.

paid for a meal with only coins - yes, in college. i also used to charge doritos and pop on my american express card. stupid.

laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose - yes, once i was eating dinner with my sister dina. i laughed and chili [we're talking beans, some cheese, and some meat] shot out of my nose. talk about burn!

been kissed under mistletoe - naw.

crashed a party - nope.

worn pearls - yes, i received a lovely pinkish cream strand for my high school graduation. i love them. casey also gave me some very pretty earrings he bought in london, too. i love to wear these gifts together.

jumped off a bridge - no. i can't even stomach jumping off a 20-foot dock more than once, so a bridge is out of the question.

ate dog/cat food - good god, no.

kissed a mirror - what? is this something that people do? i was too busy kissing lots and lots of boys.

glued your hand to something - all the time. i glue softpaws [like feline lee press-ons] on to my clawed cats nails with superglue and am always getting other detritus stuck to my own paws.

done a one-handed cartwheel - you betcha.

talked on the phone for more than 6 hours - i ban the telephone.

didn't take a shower for a week - no way. talk about crotch crickets.

picked and ate an apple right off the tree - negative, ghostrider.

been told by a complete stranger that you're hot - yeah. it comes with having been blonde, i suppose.

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