i get a lot of requests for references, either for jobs or continuing education. in large part, those that request a letter of recommendation from me are people that know they've truly been a great help to me, typically over a few years, and so i'm happy to take some time out to give them a glowing review.

and then there are the reference calls. these are usually for people that worked for me for a year or two, did the bare minimum, and after having been stalked and cajoled by me all spring, eventually tell me they would not be working for me again this summer, apparently because they want to work in the mall.

my office phone rings and i answer

caller: hi-ee! my name is amber and i'm calling from skankz clothing store in oakcreek-fieldbrook shopping center.

me: okay.

caller: i'm calling for a reference check on a... suzannah smigthe? i believe she's a current employee of yours?

me: susan smith? no, she is no longer employed by me.

uncomfortable pause

what can i answer for you?

caller: umm... do you know how long she worked for you?

me: she worked for one year.

caller: ...and would you rehire her?

me: hmm. i guess.

caller: you guess?

me: umm. well, i guess she did what was expected of her. she did what the job entailed but didn't proactively exceed any expectations/had a few breakdowns when given criticism/was arrested for drinking beer while sitting on a curb alone outside a taco bell one night.

caller: ohhh... okay. well, thanks for your time!

me: you betcha.

two weeks roll by. my office phone rings and i answer.

caller: hi, i'm caitlin, calling from aunt patty's pretzel pavilion at streamriver-brooklevee mall about susie smith? wondering if you have a minute...