Tuesday, July 27, 2004

the hess-hnatusko continuum

there's a surprise around every corner when you and your loved one merge families.  learning more and more about how the other tribe operates can be... fascinating.  yeah, that's what i'll say it is... fascinating.  okay, how about educational?

i have gone on several delightful junkets with my inlaws.  this weekend, we'll be off for my mother's family's much-anticipated family reunion.  juxtaposing my experiences thus far, i present:

THE HESS-HNATUSKO CONTINUUM OF VACATION PREPARATION

hess: swap multiple e-mails replete with web page urls of attractive locations.

hnatusko: rock-paper-scissors for who has to call big sister [staunch luddite, pennypincher, and all-around misanthrope] and hound her about why she really ought to go on this trip.

 
hess: organize in advance whether the family will be dining out each night [provide location and attire] or if someone will make dinner [menu, please].  cc: entire family acerbic banter between city mice and country mice about pickiness of palates and skill of others' cooking.

hnatusko: where are we going?  let's start with the name of the city.  that'd be nice.

 
hess: equip oneself with gps device, cell phone, and several maps and directions printed off internet to get to vacation destination at scheduled time.  do not be late under penalty of law.

hnatusko: post all meeting times at least 30 minutes in advance; chronic lateness is a hereditary sickness.  attachment with directions was sent to less computer-savvy sister who claimed it was blank.  can't reach parents -- what parent of a child over 25 actually keeps their cell phone on when not in use?  let's be reasonable here.

 
hess: plans shift and adjust to suit napping nephews.  for the love of all that is holy, stop talking so loud.

hnatusko:  gotta get home in time to feed, medicate, and let out the pack of dogs -- some infirm, some still puppies, lead by a few precocious shih-tzus.  whoops!  just spray some nature's miracle on it and let it dry.  the smell will come out.

 
hess: housing arrangements with carefully measured ratio of children per adult -- check!

hnatusko: mom and i seat ourselves with our hearing aides facing the group.  who's coming again? ohhh.  okay.  and where are we all staying now? 

 
where do you fall in the continuum?


1 comment:

trisha said...

"..attachment with directions was sent to less computer-savvy sister who claimed it was blank. can't reach parents -- what parent of a child over 25 actually keeps their cell phone on when not in use.."

This is (by far and away) the funniest damned sentence I have EVER read in my life.

You are so damned funny. OMG. You are funny.