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tom, what the hell happened?!

is it just me, or is tom cruise just so awkward and dorky now? he just gets on my nerves. was he always such a tool? i can't even watch him being interviewed without squirming and bellowing ad hominems at the television after his every comment.

i notice he doesn't seem to have any appreciation for the tone or pace of a discussion. he's on the view with the ladies [also collectively annoying as hell] and they're yapping about light topics like paparazzi in their rapid-fire, chatty, vapid way, and he leans forward with the total chezzy, maverickesque face, completely jacks the flow and asks, "do you really want to know what i think?" the audience, just lapping this up, squeals. then, he busts out this, like, dad/cop type voice, "hey, hey, not with my kids. when i'm with my kids, come on, eh. because, you know... that's my family... and my family..." he mumbles on, losing steam, in this hushed, slow, serious tone, totally wrecking the momentum of the interview. he does this, at least two more times, beginning with, "do you really want to know?" after that, joy can't call anyone a "skinny bitch", dammit.

i really started noticing what a wanker [wanker really fits] he was when i saw him on oprah. i can see that, in the presence of such a magnanimous woman, you naturally feel like you can and will do more in your life, but i swear, he short-circuited. he leans in and starts talking very vaguely but intensely about how he's going to make a difference in the world. yes, that's an admirable endeavor to pursue, and i'm not knocking it, but they way he was going on and on really came off like so much megalomaniacal blather. i guess you'll just have to see it, but i think even oprah was a little weirded out.

on some tabloid show, i even saw jamie foxx imitating his weird, robotic laughter and i was like, "ah, relief. i'm not the only one that thinks he's a cheeseball."

dude -- people are making fun of you. lighten up. maybe lose the "cruise" moniker and you'll feel less pressure to be so... cool, is it?