exhibit a - rex grossman, chicago bears
i don't pay attention to football more than to laugh at the dreads vs. helmets phenomenon [witness one r.w. mcquarters] before sunday cataplexy sets in, but i did notice rex's unusual brows.
my god, they're perfect. does he wax? tweeze? how is this possible in nature!?
exhibit b - carly patterson, usa women's gymnastic team
again, not one pesky stubble protruding from the widened expanse between her brows. now that she's hit the bigtime, she needs to see rex's girl. in the meantime, she can milk the "just say no to slumber party makeovers" poster-child gig.
exhibit c - michael phelps, usa men's swimming team
this man won so many medals that he stepped aside to let others get their piece of the action. what's his secret? hello! no chest hair, no armpit hair, and -- sorry to point this out to our more sensitive readers -- no treasure trail. he's keeping with the hip-hugger trend, all you corporate sponsors. he has sold his soul to nad [that poor girl -- didn't they tell her mom when they were marketing that product in america to consider maybe "nattie's" or something?]