the little red sled

let me introduce you. my car is a 1995 honda civic coupe ex. it's a conundrum of spartan efficiency and creature-comfort conveniences.

no a/c... but does get hotter than a devil's dingaling in the dead of winter on setting 1 of 4.

no cd player... but it does have a tape deck so i can plug in my ipod with one of those tape adapters. works for me!

no fancy spoiler... but it does have power windows, power sunroof, and cruise control.

urban teenage boys down with the aftermarket-loving streetracing scene eye her with envy. with the exception of one [on the back -- backed into a small tree], none of the dents were my doing.

dent on hood: from out of the ethers, a shoe came flying and hit my car as i was driving home on i-88 from dekalb

dent on passenger door: happened in the parking garage of a high-rise on lake shore drive while i was at a cheer staff holiday party ages ago.

dent on rear bumper: drunk lady just coasted into me at a red light. someone she knew had just given birth and she seemed a little distracted.

the sled has been home to much eating and drinking, smoking and sleeping, crying and sneezing. the collapsable drink-holder broke ages ago [the spring popped out] and so beverages are wedged between the parking break and the seat. between the seats is ten years of orange juice, coffee, and soda. the floor has been home to crumbs, wrappers, and snot-rags, yet is always a source of wealth in toll change.

i'm not gonna lie to you people -- she reeks. especially in the summer, there is a disgusting odor that wafts from the upholstery. perhaps it's from all the perspiration. i've driven to des moines in august in sweat-soaked clothing with my head out the window, gagging on cow-ass stench.

what's great about the sled? she runs like a dream and has needed very little work. she's reliable, economical, and easy to park in the city. the driver's side flank is virtually flawless. despite a small custody battle and what i believed to be backbreaking payments for my meager salary of yore, she's paid for and she's all mine!