[tap, tap, tap] is this thing on? testing one, two...
casey and i went back to splendiferous kauai. this time, my sister dina and her husband rick came with us. what strengthened our love for this island is that, despite the fact that we felt we had done about everything there is to do there last year, we did even more this year! the trip was actually supposed to be only nine days, but about halfway in, we started to panic and decided to extend the day another two. now, i am inundated with much catching up -- just getting up to speed on all my blog-reading [let alone writing] gives me anxiety.
instead of chucking it all and not writing anything, or spending hours and hours with an extensive play-by-play of our travels, i'm striking a balance. this is an unprecedented decidedly un-sagittarian way to do things, folks. make note! here is a list of interesting things that transpired. here goes:
on tanness: i managed to cultivate a nice tan without scalding myself too badly. the only part of me that looks leperous is my upper back. i had applied spf 50 on everything but that area which i could not reach and forgot to physically grab someone and force them to stop all movement and baste me. we all got better at that as we went along. i graduated to spf 30 about midway into the trip, and by the very end, i was wearing spf 15. 15, people! see, we'd all caught a big case of the fuckits. i can no longer afford kinerase -- thanks to the folks from "friends" who are now endorsing my heretofore secret magical wrinkle cream, the price has skyrocketed. i don't buy leather -- might as well look like it instead, right?
on active endeavors: we did some fun and crazy hiking. we are not of rugged, outdoorsy ilk, but we got covered in red dirt with the best of 'em taking an hour-long trek down a steep trail to swim in wailua falls.
we also hiked along the kalalau trail which stretches across the na pali coast.
this entire trail was scented with fresh guava crushed in the red dirt underfoot and ended with a fresh water stream running into the ocean. upon arrival, pb&js never tasted so good.
on eating: speaking of things tasting good, i ate like it was my job. not only did i hone the eating skills to black-belt level mastery from a volume standpoint, i ate loads of just junk.
check this impressive list out, y'all:
- puka dogs almost daily!
- shave ice with macadamia nut ice cream on the bottom from brennecke's.
- pizza and koa golden ale from pizzetta in koloa town at least three times.
- ice cream and sorbet from lappert's afterwards.
- in addition to at least one beer a day, i also had copious amounts of pog [that's passion fruit-orange-guava juice to you] and rum as well as many full-sugar sodas. i attempted balancing these out with many water refills in my trusty red nalgene bottle.
- ever had a chick-o-stick? no, it's not made of chicken. it's a denuded butterfinger bar of sorts and helps combat salty seawater mouth syndrome quite efficiently.
on bodysurfing: we spent many, many hours at brennecke's beach. when we weren't laying there eating and smearing on sunscreen, we were in the wild surf. we swam with sea turtles every day for hours at a time.
i must admit it was a bit of a war zone. rick had a pieces of sand embedded in his cornea and the inside of his eyelid. before he went to the doctor to have it scraped out with the wooden end of a swab, he was one cantankerous son-of-a-bitch, but once it was out, he was back to being crazy pizzy mcrizzowitz again. dina got whacked on the shinbone. casey was hurled across his back on a rock. i did manage to get into an accident while boogie boarding -- got a really nasty ouchie on my elbow, abraded the skin on my hip, nicked a chunk of skin out of my ankle, and got a left hook to the jaw from a wave that has rendered me with an inner- and outer- ear infection. it feels like my ear needs to blow its nose, as p'tarded as that sounds. it was worth it. i love that stretch of lava-strewn sand and can't wait to jump in again.
on reading: i read jhumpa lahiri's pulitzer prize winning interpreter of maladies. a compilation of short stories about indian people, it was the perfect vacation read. i also picked up mark haddon's the curious incident of the dog in the night-time on the way home and am almost done with it. it's written from the perspective of a teenage autistic-savant kid in england and i definitely recommend it.
on helicopter rides: casey managed to score a "return-customer" discount on an island tour which had us descending into waimea canyon and cresting mount waialeale [the wettest spot on earth]. people, it's expensive, but it's so effing worth it.
on classic rock: in the rental car, we jammed out daily to shaka [kshk fm 103.3]. i am not really a classic rock fan, but it's super-fun to listen to there. we wrote down all the songs we heard a lot and will make a compilation cd. i'll be sure to list the tracks once it's done.
on the fern grotto: no, we didn't go to the f*cking fern f*cking grotto. don't even ask. we went to a thrift shop instead where i got some kick-ass kids t-shirts commemorating the kaua'i martial arts championship and native hawaiian community groups. they were 50 cents each. dope.
on pictures: ever the intrepid historian, casey took a jillion photos of us and will be posting them in his excellent online photo album soon. keep checking to see them soon. i promise you that you'll wanna go yourself once you see these shots... especially the ones of bikini-clad me in a half-slump, pendulous abdomen full of mango relish and lilikoi mustard swinging low like sweet chariot. talk about hanging loose, hawaiian-style! aloha!