Thursday, April 28, 2005

not a girl, not yet a mother

like fat elvis, only with boobies

you know, i can only imagine how absolutely horrible life would be if i had someone following me all the time, taking my picture everywhere i went. in the case of our fair friend britney, i just can't help but wonder if she'd have that many people dying to get shots of her if she didn't look like such a complete trainwreck all the time. i don't support tabloids or smut like people or us magazine, but i will occasionally look for a site that features recent photos of her. gosh darnit, it's just so fun to see what kind of jacked-up ensemble she cooks up each day. hey, i can quit anytime i want -- i'm not addicted.

i'm not saying she should look perfect all the time or impeccably dressed, but how about not like complete white trash? maybe a good supportive brassiere, especially now that she's got those new big cans? it looks like there's effort there -- hair done, makeup done -- just... wow, really unfortunate choices.

for starters, if she's only in her first trimester, why is she wearing that maternity-esque schmatte? recently, i keep seeing her in really unflattering summer dresses, breasts all over the place. ugh.

speaking of ugh, i'm no fashion guru, but hasn't it already been made abundantly clear that ugg boots have come and gone and are now the domain of the knockoff artists like payless and sears? what is she doing wearing those boots? with a short dress no less! bad dog!

what i wonder is if her friend [the tastefully-dressed girl in the pink skirt] in the photo with her is like, "um, really, britney. is it laundry day, cherie?"


Casey said...

I can't get past the "I'm so high I just hit myself with a baseball bat" face. What an unflattering facial posture.

She's definitely been slurpin' a DQ Blizzard or an ol' Friendly's Fribble pretty agressively too!

And more... with those fake cans, what do her supertubes do? Is there like giant boob, then a saltwater blob sitting off to the side?

Is she gonna look like she has an udder on her chest?

Jamie said...

She is overexposed in so many, painful ways. I wholeheartedly appreciate your re-circulation of the noun "cans," however, into conversation. Very hip.

I am also having trouble accepting the sight of her friend's cankles. I thought MINE were bad...Yipes! It's nice that she's skinny, but c'mon - put those hamhocks away!

p said...

i think the cans are real and just enlarged due to pregnancy. wait -- i'll post this hilarious link about britney's mystery-tits.